Archive for May, 2009

28
May
09

another reason why teens deserve more than just ‘abstinence education’

Article from abc news.

Teens: Oral Sex and Casual Prostitution No Biggie

By CLAIRE SHIPMAN and COLE KAZDIN
May 28, 2009

They don’t give their names, but viewers can see their faces plainly and what these teens are saying is shocking parents.

“I ended up having sex with more than one person that night and then in the morning I was trying to get morning-after pills,” one of the girls said. “I was, like, 14 at the time.”

It’s just one of dozens of stories from teenage girls in a new documentary by Canadian filmmaker Sharlene Azam that aims to shed light on the secret, extremely sexual lives of today’s teens.

After four years researching for the documentary, Azam told “Good Morning America” that oral sex is as common as kissing for teens and that casual prostitution — being paid at parties to strip, give sexual favors or have sex — is far more commonplace than once believed.

“If you talk to teens [about oral sex] they’ll tell you it’s not a big deal,” Azam said. “In fact, they don’t consider it sex. They don’t consider a lot of things sex.”

Evidence of this casual attitude may be seen in the fact that more than half of all teens 15 to 19 years old have engaged in oral sex, according to a comprehensive 2005 study by the Centers for Disease Control’s National Center for Health Statistics.

‘Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss’
In the documentary, “Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss,” girls as young as 11 years old talk about having sex, going to sex parties and — in some extreme situations — crossing into prostitution by exchanging sexual favors for money, clothes or even homework and then still arriving home in time for dinner with the family.

“Five minutes and I got $100,” one girl said. “If I’m going to sleep with them, anyway, because they’re good-looking, might as well get paid for it, right?”

Another girl talked about being offered $20 to take off her shirt or $100 to do a striptease on a table at a party.

The girls are almost always from good homes, but their parents are completely unaware, Azam said.

“The prettiest girls from the most successful families [are the most at risk]. We’re not talking about marginalized girls,” she said. “[Parents] don’t want to know because they really don’t know what to do. I mean, you might be prepared to learn that, at age 12, your daughter has had sex, but what are you supposed to do when your daughter has traded her virginity for $1,000 or a new bag?”

Sex Favors Traded for Relationship Stability
For some of the girls, the sexual favors are not about clothes or money, but used to keep a relationship together in a chillingly objective way.

“I think there’s very much trading for relationship favors, almost like ‘you need to do this [to] stay in this relationship,’” one girl told “Good Morning America.”

“There’s a lot of social pressure,” said another. “Especially because of our age, a lot of girls want to be in a relationship and they’re willing to do anything.”

The girls laughingly admitted they never talk to their parents about their sexual activity.

“I mean, we’re not looking for our future husbands,” one girl said. “We’re just looking for, maybe like … at our age, especially, I think all of us, both sexes, we have a lot of urges, I guess, that need to be taken care of. So if we resort to a casual thing, no strings attached, it’s perfectly fine.”

Azam said she thinks the “no strings attached” romances could be a defense mechanism against a greater disappointment.

“A lot of girls are disappointed in love,” she said. “And I think they believe they can hook up the way guys do and not care.

“But unfortunately, they do care.”

link to article and video

28
May
09

Texts tackle teenage sex myths

(from bbc news)

A new campaign has taken to the streets of Swindon offering advice to teenagers in an attempt to tackle sex myths

Buses will advertise the R U Thinking? campaign with a free number to text for a download application with 10 of the most common misconceptions about sex.

The download also includes a game with a lie detector for teenagers to play with their friends.

Swindon has a teenage pregnancy rate of 46.5 per 1,000 based on 2007 data, a reduction of 13% since 1998.

The target set for Swindon is for a 55% reduction by 2010.

Frances Mayes, manager of the Health Inequalities Programme at Swindon Primary Care Trust, said: “We hope to reach youngsters at times when they are likely to experience peer pressure, such as when they are in large groups, often on their way to or from school. ”

27
May
09

eden fantasys

(something about the spelling “fantasys” just tickles me)

Eden fantasys is a sex toy site, but not just a sex toy site. They have a sweet blog, located here, a section for sex fantasies, a communal messageboard, a link to Sexis (awesome), as well as information on education and safe sex practices. But yes they also do toys. Lots and lots of toys. All different kinds. Some things I found worth highlighting:

yay!
Gender expression, cocks, harnesses. Queer and gender friendly books/video, lesbian erotica out the wazoo. Sex swings, light BDSM kits(including a Bondage 101 kit and a BDSM kit for newlyweds). Here are some favorites:

Ultimate Orgasm kit

Look. At. This. Beautiful. Mess. Kit includes Traditional 4″ long multi-speed vibe with a great array of sensual enhancements; a multi-functional pleasure egg for precise and effective stimulation; a specially shaped and textured vibro cock ring for stimulating both him and her; special pleasure balls and more. Plus the packaging is awesome:

Like they’re all just waiting in line to get in a concert or something.

**I should also mention that on the edenfantasys site, you can refine your search within products by color, length, circumference, price, functions, texture, shape, care/cleaning, and/or brand and more. Now that’s what I call specific.**


Hot Sex Vibrating Ring
Don’t have much experience with cock rings personally, but come on look at this thing. Flames! Batteries are included and apparently the flames tickle the clitoris. Sounds good to me.


Incognito Lipstick Vibe
I think the entire thing just speaks for itself here. Small, discreet, and quiet. Nicely done.

And wow…

Bondage Duckie
This is waterproof and floats. Can be used as a simple water toy or clitoris stimulator. Also vibrates and is approx. 5 inches long and 5 inches tall. Wow. Look at that guy.

I could go on and on. Just go check it out for yourself.
go here to check out the site

19
May
09

Studies in Crap Unveils Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman

By Alan Scherstuhl

Picture Stories of the Sex Life of Man and Woman

Author: Dr. David H. Keller, “America’s most consulted sexologist”

Publisher: Cadillac Publishing Company, New York

Date: 1941

Discovered at: Collection of Nancy Hulston, Director of Archives at the University of Kansas Medical Center

The Cover Promises: “317 Instructive Pictures Explaining How Sex Functions in Human Beings”

author’s guide to female anatomy:

also:

more here, at the source of the article.

19
May
09

“sex as you don’t know it”

By Beata Pasek / Warsaw

Sex in marriage does not need to be practiced with lights off; it can be “saucy, surprising and fantasy-packed” and at the same time without sin, says a monk in a book that has become a best seller in predominantly Catholic and conservative Poland.

In Sex As You Don’t Know It: For Married Couples Who Love God, published in April, Franciscan Father Ksawery Knotz offers theological and practical advice for married couples who want to spice up their sex lives, all the while assuring them they are doing nothing wrong.

“There is still a penal code–style mentality [toward sex],” Father Knotz said at a press conference promoting the book at the headquarters of the Polish Catholic Church Episcopate. “People ask me what is allowed and what is forbidden in bed. [That attitude] is ridiculous.”

Father Knotz revealed that he found the inspiration for his sex guide in another popular pastime: “I compare sex to a football game,” he said. “There are games of different leagues, great and wonderful as well as boring and hopeless.”

The book, which has been dubbed the “Catholic Kama Sutra,” has the backing of the Catholic Church in Poland and the national media — even the ultraconservative Catholic daily Nasz Dziennik gave it a positive review. Bookstores around the country sold out of the first 5,000 copies within weeks. The St. Pawel publishing house has already ordered a reprint and is considering translations into English, Italian and Slovak.

The book stays in line with Church teachings about the ban on birth control, but most of its content isn’t the kind of things you learn in Sunday school. “Some people, when they hear about the holiness of married sex, immediately imagine that such sex has to be deprived of joy, frivolous play, fantasy and attractive positions,” writes Father Knotz, who lives in a monastery of the Order of Friars outside Kraków in Stalowa Wola in southern Poland. “They think it has to be sad, like a traditional church hymn. But every act, caress or sexual position that has the goal of arousal is permitted and pleases God.”

Still, says the author, there are certain rules in the bedroom, just as there are on a football field. Asked at the press conference whether it is a sin to use a whip during sex, Father Knotz stressed that he “does not talk about pathology but a normal behavior. We should not make a sex shop out of the Church.”

When asked whether a celibate priest is qualified to write about sex, Father Knotz said that much of his book stems from questions he has encountered running a website that counsels married couples. The site, called A Chance to Meet, presents a sexual act “as a meeting that occurs not only between a husband and wife who love each other but also between the married couple and God,” and offers advice in both Polish and English. (See pictures of famously unmarried couples.)

Father Daniel Luka of the St. Pawel publishing house told reporters, “We want to give answers to problems which have become a taboo in church — problems with sex, which is a way to show affection but also a way to build a relationship between a married couple.” Gives a whole new meaning to the missionary position.

article found via digg, time magazine

04
May
09

how to: the condom (part one)

I came across a great how-to site for how to properly use a condom. I’d like to share some excerpts from the site here, as well as my own two cents on the subject of using condoms. This is part one of a two part update…I will post part two soon, with more information and reflection on the condom.

the female condom
The site I am referencing focused more on the male condom, but I wanted to say a few words first about the female condom. First, I will say that I have no personal experience will using one, although I’ve heard it said that they are a little frustrating/bulky for sexual activity at times. Behold, the female condom:

The female condom was approved by the FDA in 1993. It is a polyurethane sheath approx. 6.5 inches in length, with a flexible ring at each end. The closed end is inserted into the vagina to hold it in place; the other end with the open ring stays outside of the vulva at the entrance. There is a silicone-based lubricant within the condom, but you can use extra lubricant if desired.

In 2005, an updated version of the female condom was released, this time made with nitrile which is cheaper to produce.

for more information on the female condom, please click here to check out a very informative site .

the male condom

Now, I’m going to spend a bit more space on talking about the male condom because personally, I’m more familiar with it and therefore have more to say. So here we go.


Condoms are usually made of polyurethane or latex–latex being slightly more reliable. You can use latex with water-based lubricants…you should stay away from oil-based lubricant because it can break down the condom. However, if you have a latex allergy, polyurethane is where you want to go. Polyurethane are a bit more expensive; they are also slightly thinner than latex condoms and a bit less flexible, so you will most likely want a lubricant of some sort with them. Polyurethane condoms are compatible with both water and oil-based lubricants.

dun dun DUNNNN…Spermicide
What is spermicide? Spermicide can be a cream, gel, and/or foam used in addition to condoms to kill sperm and helf prevent pregnancy. Some condoms come with spermicide, fancy that. The most common is known as Nonoxynol 9. I like to call it my arch nemesis.

I became sexually active in high school and it was never a question: protect yourself. Use condoms. My first few experiences were with condoms that contained Nonoxynol 9 and, like many women, I experienced an allergic reaction. The allergic reaction sucks. Think redness, irritation, itching, and misery. So when it comes to the Non-9, proceed with caution. Condoms without the Non-9 are just as safe.

“Get me a hat.”
If you’re in the midst of foreplay and you know where it’s all going, or where it *might* be going, do yourself a favor and have the condom(and lube, if preferred) ready and nearby. I’d recommend not opening the condom until you’re ready to slide that sucker on. Also, when you are opening the condom, make sure to tear at the corner carefully, so you do not risk damaging the actual condom within. And before opening check the expiration date.

I’d like to say officially, here and now, that it’s pretty darn sexy to put a condom on your partner. It’s also sexy to watch them do it. Please me sure you know how to put the condom on(and there is a correct way). Things to remember:

- When you take the condom out and place it over the head of the penis, make sure to pinch the reservoir tip(or if there isn’t one, pinch some space at the top of the condom) to leave room for ejaculation–the ‘boys’ need somewhere to go, mais oui? The condom should roll down the shaft of the penis easily. If you are having trouble rolling the condom down, it may be inside out. The rim should be on the outside. Your best bet is to hold the shaft at the bottom with one hand, and roll down with the other. Smooth out any air bubbles, as trapped air can cause breakage. Speaking of…

Breakage & “where did it go?”
What do you do if a condom breaks during sex? Pull out immediately. Replace the condom if you want to continue having sex(sometimes, truth be told, a broken condom can kind of…er, kill the mood. But you shouldn’t let it!). If the condom breaks and you are concerned with the potential release of semen(or if breakage is discovered post-ejaculation), please consider emergency contraception such as the morning after pill. Better safe than sorry, I think.

Never had a condom break, but I’ve had a couple experiences with a condom “disappearing.” You look down and realize ohmygodwherediditgo?! You and your partner search the sheets, the floor, yourselves. Sometimes this means going to the bathroom, taking the deep crouch position, and doing some internal searching. It’s not fun, but the sooner you find that sucker and get it out the better. The vagina can be deceiving in this situation. You may really need to reach up within yourself(which isn’t particularly a PREFERRED activity, but it is kind of fascinating). Again, you may want to consider an emergency contraceptive back up if this happens to you.

During sex, make sure to check the status of the condom now and then. Especially if you change positions a lot. This doesn’t have to be done in a clinical-ish manner. You can make it sly. You can be sexy about it. If he’s on top, make sure to look down and note the pleasant visual of penetration. You should be able to see the condom in place. If you aren’t exactly in a position to spot the sucker with your own eye, consider using your hand at the base of the penis shaft to check the placement of the condom. Both partners should be aware of this, and take responsiblity to check.

For more information on condoms, please go to this site .

some cents
I can’t say I have too many complaints about the condom. I know that they aren’t for everyone, but I don’t consider them to be something that gets in the way. They aren’t hard to find, and I think they can be incorporated into sex play very easily. For someone(like myself) that cannot take birth control, this is important. There are so many colors, brands, and even flavors to choose from(this goes for lube as well).

03
May
09

rub one out

from the website em and lo

15 Reasons Why Everyone Should Masturbate

1. Getting a grip on yourself helps teach you the pattern of your own sexual response: What you like, what you don’t like, and what you hate more than anything else in the whole wide world.

2. Friggin’ your riggin’ helps you gain control over when and how soon you come: Once you can recognize the point right before the point of no return, you can put on the brakes and avoid premature crashes.

3. Polishing your china helps you sleep — right before a nap, or as part of your bedtime ritual.

4. Playing with yourself is a great procrastination device/study break/boredom reliever. Way better than smoking or television.

5. DIY sex puts a smile on your face by releasing endorphins. So self-administer a mercy fuck after (or better yet, during) a bad day at work.

6. Jacking off can help kick-start a tired and listless sex drive.

7. Southern comfort puts you first for a change (assuming you’re not usually a selfish bastard). Do something nice for yourself: Walk your hand home.

8. Beating off evens the playing field when you want it more than your partner does. With the wave of a hand, presto: No more frustration!

9. Doing the handstroke is a self-fulfilling prophecy; the more you do it (and the earlier you start doing it), the more likely you are to do it into your old age. That image might gross you out now, but wait till you’re seventy.

10. Doing the hand jive is cheap and you’re easy, unlike most of your dates.

11. Not jerking off at all, according to sexologists, is more likely to lead to psychological problems than jerking off incessantly. This is an about-face from the widespread Victorian belief that shaking the bacon would drive you nuts. So stop the insanity!

12. Hand-to-gland combat gives you fresh breath. As long as you brush your teeth when you’re done.

13. Testing the plumbing before a date helps keep your head in the game.

14. Widespread wanking creates a more sensual world, adds to the supply of international karma, and thus brings us closer to world peace.

15. Masturbation is the shortest distance between you and an orgasm. Need we say more?

And one extra one, just for the ladies — because, let’s face it, they’re the ones who need the most encouragement to masturbate more often:

16. Orgasms can help relieve menstrual cramps and PMS, and fight yeast infections by increasing blood flow to the pelvic area. That alone is a pretty good reason to learn how to flick the bean, and flick it well.

link

01
May
09

Wife of Kenyan PM backs sex ban

The wife of Kenya’s Prime Minister Raila Odinga says she supports the sex ban imposed by women’s activists over the country’s political impasse.

Ida Odinga said the week-long boycott had already worked by drawing attention to the squabbling which has hit Kenya’s power-sharing government.

She, however, refused to be drawn on whether the fiery wife of President Mwai Kibaki would join the movement.

The ban was imposed by groups which fear the row could lead to new unrest.

Some 1,500 people were killed and 300,000 forced from their homes when violence broke out after disputed elections in December 2007.

The clashes came to an end when Mr Odinga agreed to join the government as prime minister in February 2008 but his relations with President Kibaki have soured in recent weeks.

‘Pillow talk’

“There are many women who are suffering rape, there are many women who are suffering hunger. And yet the leadership is not thinking about the common person. They are thinking about who should be the leader of what and what,” the prime minister’s wife told the BBC’s Network Africa programme.

Mr Odinga says he is being sidelined by the president, in particular arguing that he should lead government business in parliament, rather than the vice-president.

The Women’s Development Organisation coalition imposed the sex boycott on Wednesday and urged Mrs Odinga and Mrs Kibaki to join them.

Patricia Nyaundi, executive director of the Federation of Women Lawyers (Fida), one of the organisations in the campaign, said they hoped the seven-day sex ban would force the squabbling rivals to make up.

“Great decisions are made during pillow talk, so we are asking the two ladies at that intimate moment to ask their husbands: ‘Darling can you do something for Kenya?’”

“I support them because I am a woman,” Mrs Odinga said.

But questioned whether she would ask Mrs Kibaki to join her in the strike, she replied:

“Please let me not answer that question, you can ask her.”

Lucy Kibaki has a notoriously fiery temper.

In February, she publicly criticised the security minister, a close ally of her husband.

And in 2005, she sparked a media furore when she stormed into the offices of a leading media company to protest at its portrayal of the first family and slapped a cameraman.